The Shack by William P Young just bothers me. It bothers me when I walk into Family Christian Stores and it is placed prominently on the front table. It bothers me when churches use it in a book study. It bothers me that it is a best seller. It bothers me when people try to convince me to read it. It bothers me because I honestly feel like it is unsafe to the relationship between a christian and The Father. Twilight, which I talked about here, is a book series that I think is not appropriate for young adults and for some adults. But, with The Shack, I think it is not healthy reading material for Christians in general.

For all I am posting about this, I know I'll get feedback disagreeing with me. I've had several discussions on this topic in the past with individuals who feel strongly on both sides of this issue. I'm okay with it but I'm posting my thoughts because I was asked to and because it's my blog.

I'm open to friendly discussion about this book and I understand that at the end of the day we may have different opinions. The beauty in this is that we can still be friends even if we don't see eye to eye.

To me, The Shack is irreverent. I can't get past that and I won't read it. I understand the book is widely supported and widely criticized in the Christian community. I happen to be on the side that finds it to be dangerous. Not for everyone - but for many. See, God is Holy. God is The Father. God doesn't need to fit into our image - He is God. He deserves total reverence. He is so Holy.

God is not a woman. God is worthy - we aren't. We must seek forgiveness in this life to be forgiven. We must recognize and acknowledge the Father of creation for Who He is... The Great, I Am.

The reason people believe the lies of Satan aren't because people don't care. Many Christians fall because the lies sound so much like the truth. Satan is a cunning one. More and more churches today teach that God is whatever you need Him to be. That the Bible isn't the whole and inerrant Word of God. It is dangerous to the body if we fail to honor Him with the reverence he deserves. He is so holy.

So, though the book may be good and I have no doubt that I'd enjoy the story and could find much good in it, I know that it is dangerous because it makes the God of the universe into something false. I know that people read that book and connect to it - not necessarily the God of the Bible but the god of their needs.

The Shack is not for me. Not today, not any day, because I buy into too many of Satan's lies on my own and I won't allow him to disgrace the holiness of my God.

Today has been a rough day. It's been such a rough day with one thing after another going wrong and my letting frustration and anger get the best of me.

It's just one of those days.

First, my husband said something that really peeved me. I just walked away but it really did bother me.

Then, I fell down our basement stairs. They are solid wood stairs and it hurt - badly. It hurt in a way that I was speechless and almost unable to breathe for how it hurt. I was not injured but I've got a big, deep bruise on half my rear.

Then, I was washing off a canning jar and sliced my fingertip on a lid.

I wanted to make breakfast but my son didn't do the dishes and we had to wait for him to get those done. It took over an hour - ridiculous.

My husband found a Laffy Taffy stuck into our bedroom carpet.

Our 4 year old (who has been potty trained for years) has had a few accidents lately. We aren't sure why but they've all been related to laziness. Today, we found he peed in the closet upstairs.

Then I was making lunch and talking with my husband about his day at work tomorrow and I was looking forward to our date tomorrow night. At which point he informed me that he won't be on said date with me... because he doesn't feel like it. That was a blow. A big blow. A knock the wind out of me blow and tears didn't help and I was so hurt and I became very angry with him. We had the biggest fight I can remember us having only I was the only one fighting.

I stewed for hours and in truth, I'm still angry. I keep crying when I think about it because he doesn't "see" what hurts so much. But, I'm more hurt than angry and I know that is a step in the right direction.

In all my frustration I burnt lunch - royally. It was a meatloaf brick.

Later, I had a great talk with my girlfriend though. I love her and how she understands me. I know my heart is safe with her and that she will, when necessary, tell it to me straight. I love that today, for a long time, she just listened to me vent. And then she told me what I needed to hear. Sister of my heart...

Tonight I decided to order pizza. It was the only safe option and on my way out the door I dropped my purse and it spilled all over the floor. Nice.

I am so ready for a new day. But, in the quiet of this evening I listened to the small voice in my soul that whispered David Crowder Band, How He Loves. I opened my laptop and googled it. Oh, He loves me. My soul needed to hear that. The lyrics are nothing short of inspired by God. It is so beautiful. It soothes my soul. It relieves the ache. It tempers my anger some. It just speaks to my heart.


YouTube will not allow me to embed this here but you can click this link or the one at theend of this post to listen. This song is so beautiful. Do sing along - let the love of the father wash over you. His mercies are new every morning... tomorrow will be a better day.

Lynny, this song is for you too. I hope it stirs your heart as it does mine. I hope it brings you peace because Oh, How He Loves... Thanks for today :)


David Crowder Band, How He Loves

As Dorie suggested, here is the original John Mark McMillan version. I especially like that he says, "Oh, how he loves us... So" as opposed to "oh, how he loves us, oh" - "So" fits so beautifully to me.

I've got an issue with the Twilight series. My friend sent this link out after letting her daughter read the book/s and see the movie.

I am not a regular reader of the blog I linked to. I didn't shout a hearty "Amen" after reading her review but it did prompt me to share my thoughts a little more clearly than I would have in her comment section. First off, her blog post didn't just cover the "dangers" of Twilight but went into all the "more godly" ways to live & parent. That lost me because sometimes, especially in the blogging community, it's very easy to get preachy & self righteous. All that to say, I'm not aligning myself with that blog post - though it was the catalyst for this blog post. I am also not saying that the blogger I linked to is anything less than delightful and authentic. I simply do not know her blog well or her heart.

In the comments section of the above mentioned blog post I found 2 blog comments that really resonated with me.

Beth said...

Hurray! I am blown away by what Christian parents allow their kids to watch. We not only guide our children's choices carefully, but we teach them that everything is seed, and has to be evaluated accordingly as to whether is it negative (weed), neutral (clutter although not damaging), or beneficial. Also, we teach them that as adults, they will not be immune from seed that is planted in their hearts. Our hearts are soil that produces a crop. We have to watch over our hearts our whole life.

A little seed will affect you, and a lot of seed will direct you!

Beth, I am so going to remember this saying about seeds. It is true and it applies to all aspects of our lives. I'm adding it to my wipe off board so we/I can see it as a daily reminder. I love this in relation to media, and this Twilight series that has become so popular.


Representative said...

Oh, so refreshing to hear someone else say this!

I am a pastor, a homeschooling mother of 5 and the head of our local homeschool group, and I have had many moms, 'Christian' women, not only defend their viewpoint about these books, but encourage other Christian moms and daughters to read them. It's the inroad that many occult-leaning writers have been looking for. It's the way to infiltrate Christian groups, the arena they've never been able to get into with any great success... until now.

My husband says using a book like one of these to teach whatever good might be in it is like fishing through a dumpster to find dinner. It might be there, but how good can it actually be, and at what cost?
November 6, 2009 6:31:00 PM CST


I think we, especially in the Christian community, make a lot of excuses. We justify things so that we feel better about them. I do this all the time. I do it with shows and movies that we watch. Honestly, I don't think I'm affected in a negative way by many things we watch but the potential for harm is there - stumbling blocks can sneak up on us. I think a good way to tell if something is a stumbling block is to evaluate the way it makes you feel. Twilight is a great example of this for me. It's like digging through the dumpster to find dinner.

My girlfriends and I all have actors we like. We all have actors we find particularly sexy... ahem, talented. For example, Ryan Gosling, is a personal favorite of mine. I have a slew of others but, you know, being all christian-like I don't want to incriminate myself publicly. It is my blog, ya know?!

So, I just googled Ryan Gosling for y'all. I'm a real organized blogger and I want to give you all the links you might need. You know, in the interest of just being a good blogger. I found this little video of Ryan & his girlfriend/Notebook co-star Rachel McAdams...



Okay, so, because I also want to be real with ya... I gotta say... I just stumbled. I think I might need a moment. I'm totally justifying that this is not in the smut category because these two people love each other. Right? Not smut?

On a side note, I feel kinda-sorta connected to Ryan Gosling because my friend actually dated him. Then he broke it off with her for Sandra Bullock but she said he was a totally great guy even in doing that and that... get this... he's even better in real life. Be still my heart.

So, like I was saying, we all know when we are stumbling because it does things to us. Physically. Like, I'd like to say that I totally think of my husband when I watch that little clip but I'm not gonna lie to you. I do think about how my husband used to kiss me like that all the time, but, you know, life and responsibilities have gotten in the way and comfort has made itself at home in our bed. That's a whole other blog post though...

So, here's my issue with the Twilight Series. One, this type of reading is considered "Young Adult". I take issue with that simply on the premise that this is not teen material. Our culture overwhelms our children with all things sexual. Our culture promotes sex so heavily that it really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that sex has polluted our young minds and destroyed the innocence of millions of American children. These children do not have the emotional maturity to deal with the onslaught of sex - the romanticized version of what "love" looks like in a physical relationship and the consequences of acts they have been involved in as a result of the pressures all around them. Children should not have their sexuality awakened and reading novels that get increasingly sexually charged with each story is nothing short of dangerous to their innocence and their long term view of what love and sex are.

Not too long ago I was talking to my 9 year old niece on the phone. We were talking about books and movies and she told me that she really doesn't like to read. I love to read and as a child I spent hours upon hours with my nose in books. She did tell me that she has read and likes the Twilight books very much and she was going to see the movie that day. To say that it grieves me that she has had this exposure would be an understatement.

When I was a teenager I often read trashy romance novels. My step-mom would buy them for me at yard sales and flea markets and I enjoyed them very much. Looking back, they were quite exciting because they were like nothing I had ever read. They were very sexy stories and I read dozens of them. I believed that they further confused me as to what a healthy, loving, intimate relationship looks like. To this day, sometimes I struggle with the "comfortable" picture of my own marriage bed. I honestly thought when I got married the "can't keep my hands off you" passion would be there forever. I mean, prior to getting married that's pretty much what I looked forward to and that's really not a healthy image to have of marriage. I was unprepared for the real work that even a good marriage can be. I had a very distorted view of love. I also had a false view of what I had to be to be loved and looking back, that created a wealth of problems for me in my life. As parents, as society, we have to start waking up to what we are doing to children. What seeds are we planting for them. This book, as well as many others and much of the media today, is unhealthy for young adults. We should be diligent to not awaken their sexuality before they are emotionally mature enough to handle it. Twilight is not appropriate for young adults.

The other issue I have with this story is the reaction that well respected, Christian women have to it. It has been shocking for me to hear the things they say, referring to themselves as Mrs. Cullen and Edward's lover and all sorts of other nonsense. I admit, I've referred to Ryan Gosling, and especially his characters, as quite sexy. I've thought many actors are quite appealing but it's never gone further than that. I liken this reaction by women I respect to something like a teen crush - a really bad teen crush. If this is how women respond to Twilight, how are emotionally immature teen girls to respond to Twilight? How do they process this as fantasy when this reaction is being had by their mothers and other women? How are young men who are navigating the difficult years of coming into their own sense of self and learning how to be men to relate to this "sex-god" image? What does that teach them about what women expect of men? It concerns me greatly. I can't see how this book/series is healthy to read. I just can't. There are so many great books, so many incredibly well written books, so many love stories that are beautiful and so many other movies to see that in this case I have to give Twilight a big, fat no way! Not in my house and not for me. The good, in this case, does not outweigh the bad. And, for the sake our our children who are incredibly tender and impressionable, I strongly believe we should just skip right over this one.

And, maybe next time I'll share my thoughts on The Shack by William P Young. My mom and I had an interesting discussion about that today that ended with her saying, "Well, I'll read it for myself and see what I think." I'm learning to not have to have the last word.


One more thing, if you happen to read and enjoy Twilight, I'm not judging. If you like to refer to yourself as Mrs. Cullen, I'm going to do my best to mind my own business on that one too. :)

This morning I have time for a quick update before I get busy.

First of all, my husband did come home last week. Thank you very much for asking and shame on me for not posting that. I guess I never thought anyone else would care about my panicked state of mind. I didn't realize that other people could relate to my fears of what could happen. I spend too much time thinking on the what ifs and worst case scenarios.

This past month has been a tremendously busy time for me. Our scouts have had their popcorn sale in full swing. I have been in charge of organizing show and sells (organizing and managing the selling outside of stores) for our pack of nearly 50 boys. Also, I've been the inventory contact person for our pack - making sure each family has what they need to sell, refilling inventory and swapping out products that are not being sold. I've been running back and forth to our council to pick up popcorn for distribution. And, on top of all that I've had to actually sit for hours and hours on end (in the cold and yuck of fall in Michigan) with my boys and help them sell their popcorn. My poor house. I need to catch up around here. Everything is so out of sorts at home and obviously, there is still a whole lot of other stuff I've had to do on top of just this popcorn. I've been so, so, so busy! This is our last week of popcorn selling - THANK THE LORD! I'm so looking forward to it all being done. Today, we will be heading out to sell at Sams Club and Lowes. It's cold. It's around 40 degrees and it is a damp, windy cold. I'm not looking forward to this but I am hopeful for good sales in spite of the cold. I really wish I had a babysitter on days like this. I really wish I had someone to help me with the boys. I hate taking my little guys out in this - it's very, very hard for them just to hang around in the cold.

Today, at some point, I need to get down to my basement and finish organizing our storage area. I need to find time to do this because is is 40 degrees and our old house is CHILLY! This summer I moved a ton of stuff around in the basement and I have totes and stuff piled near our furnace and I have to move those things so that we can turn our furnace on and warm this house. In the meantime, we are okay once we get moving but there is a definite chill in the morning here. It doesn't help that our windows are all old, single pane glass windows and insulation is just poor in this house. Oh, to win the lotto and move...

Last week we had a family meeting. I had read this post from my friend Lyn and it really resonated with me. The idea of how distracting the Internet can be was already something I had been giving much thought to. I knew that the Internet was/is an area I had to change in my life. What really struck me though was the part she wrote about how they sit together with their laptops. Convicting. We have that same habit and I knew then I wanted it to change. So, I thought about it and I called a family meeting. I started it just asking the boys to be really open and honest with us. I said that they could speak freely but as long as they were respectful. We talked a great deal about communication and time spent as a family and what would they like to do with us (reading, playing games, etc...) and I offered up some ground rules. We all agreed to computer/Internet/TV usage limits. Between the hours 8am and 8pm we have 1 hour of each. Steve and I can spend half and hour before lunch and after lunch on our computers. The boys may view up to an hour of TV a day. Family movies obviously don't fall into time limits. We also talked about commercials and channels and shows we do/do not want them to watch. These are not new rules - we've always been careful about what they view - but it was good to talk about it all again and have those things fresh in our minds. The boys were very happy about our new rules.

Next, rules for me about how much time I spend on my cell phone before 7pm. I need to get a working phone so I can use my home line.

But, for now my time is up and I have to run. I'll finish updating things soon.

Have a great day!

My husband is out of town today. Today is a very,very busy day for me. Mondays are my busiest day of the week. Steve had to travel out of town today so we had a special family day yesterday. We were getting the boys ready for bed and he called Matthew and Christian over to him. The boys were in their jammies and he got very serious with them. I was checking my email and he starts talking to them.

"I'm not going to see you tomorrow.

You have a pack meeting.

I may not be there tomorrow.

Do me proud...

Be respectful... Obedient...

Do your best."


My throat caught.


Matthew replies:

"Yes. We'll do our best."

It was so serious. I had to look away. It felt like such a forever goodbye. My eyes were burning. I thought, if Steve knew he wouldn't be coming home again, this is exactly what he would say. He'd add an I love you and help your mom but mostly that is what he would say. It was just almost too much for me to hear.

We went to bed early. I woke up around 2am and I was up for hours. I could not fall back to sleep. Normally, I would get up and start doing housework. I enjoy working in a quiet house. But not last night. I couldn't leave his side. I was overwhelmed by a feeling that my husband wasn't going to come home.

So many thoughts ran through my mind. What would I do? Who would I tell? How would I tell our boys? Hours of unanswerable questions kept me wide awake. I couldn't get up because what if that was the last night I had with him. I figured I'd have to wrap up his stuff in plastic so I could still smell him. I have a tendency to worry about things that are completely out of my control - like most of life in general. Last night was awful.

I didn't fall asleep til he left around 5am.

He still is not home.

I just want him to come home.

And, now I have to go to scouts. I really don't want to go to scouts tonight.

Thanks to MileHiMama for this quick and easy blog idea. I love it.

1. Bakugans are a total waste of money. So are, apparently, all the other gifts my kids have ever just had to have. Our first experience with this was when Nicolas just had to have a Tyco RC. He talked about that toy constantly and it was the one and only thing he wanted. I didn't want to spend $70+ on this thing and suggested another (cheaper) remote control toy but Steve convinced me that we should get it for him. He used an example of how badly he wanted a game when he was a kid and how his parents got him a cheap substitute and how he felt about it. We splurged and got the toy. It got left out in the rain and two weeks later he was talking about how much he could sell it for at a yard sale. He hardly ever played with it after a week. Lesson learned. Christian's been bugging us for a Shell Shocker for years... another way overpriced toy (that we told Nick no to the year after the Tyco RC fiasco). Nope - we learned. This year for Christian's birthday he had to have Bakugans. It was all he could talk about. Can I just say that for the 2 years we didn't have cable, my kids stopped asking for stupid toys they weren't seeing on commercials. I hate the television sometimes. So, we went out and found we could get a nice 6 pack of these dumb little magnetic balls for $25. Christian is a good kid so we splurged. A few days later - they were getting lost. Today, not 2 months later - they are all lost. We are done buying those things they want the most. We've learned that very few toys are treasured around here. They like Star Wars Light Sabers, Legos, little cars and Power Rangers and other guys with bendy arms and legs. If the extremities don't bend - they just don't play with them. They also like Lincoln Logs. Mostly that is it. Nothing else matters. It's all a waste of money.

2. I stink at Halloween. I hate buying costumes because they seem like such a waste of money. I look at parents who walk through the stores picking up costumes and I wonder how they can stand to buy them. I don't know when I developed such an aversion to buying a costume but I seriously can't bring myself to spend more than $5 on a costume - and honestly, that's a stretch. Maybe because I've gotten lucky and bought some of our best ones by chance for $2-$3. I don't know... something is wrong with me. I don't even feel like making costumes and that makes me feel like a lousy mom. I spend the day of Halloween - and sometimes the day before - scrambling to make up for my failure to plan for Halloween. I like going out with my kids but I run into this problem every year. I have no idea how I'll pull it off this year but I can't bring myself to think about it yet.

3. Tonight I had to squelch a deep desire to go on a road trip. I wanted so badly to just drive - north - and visit a patch of woods. I wanted just to explore and be outside and many years ago I would have totally gone with that. Sometimes I miss being impulsive.

4. I still really want to take the bike trip Monica and I planned. We were going to ride our bikes across the US. I'm sometimes sad that we'll never be able to do that. Maybe someday. Maybe we'll be old ladies finally taking that trip but I'm afraid I'll be too afraid of the what ifs to make it. I read a great book this summer. I can't wait for Monica to read it so we can plan our big hiking adventure. She's my most adventurous friend and the sister of my heart. She and I just have fun - good, clean, kind of crazy but wildly adventurous fun. I miss you, Fat Cow!

5. Nicolas was cleaning out the cat litter 2 days ago. He took it outside to empty and clean out. He forgot it out there. Today, right before we left for his camping trip I went down to the basement... crap. He never brought the box back in and our cats have been... well, they haven't been holding it for days. I was so mad at him.

6. I need to stop using my cell phone during the day. I don't know how to remind myself of this but my minutes are going to be way over if I don't get out of this habit. I'm frustrated with myself.

7. I just read and loved The Time Travelers Wife. SO good. Last night I saw the movie. What a total disappointment. The characters were poorly developed, their deep love didn't come through in the movie, the movie felt like the book on fast forward - just jumping from one thing to the next and the story line seemed to focus more on their struggles than their love. Some things were changed and I knew that would happen but overall it was a total disappointment. Bummer. I'll reread the book but won't bother to watch the movie again. I may watch the trailer for it though because it is better than the movie. I love Rachel McAdams as Clare but do not care for Eric Bana as Henry.



The trailer brings tears to my eyes every time I watch it. The book is fabulous. The story is well written, the characters are beautifully developed and their love is deep. This is a new favorite book of mine. If you liked The Notebook, you will love The Time Travelers Wife.

The Notebook is one of my favorite movies ever.



I want to post several of my favorite clips from the movie but I don't want to spoil it for anyone. If you haven't read the book (1st) or seen the movie (2nd) - do. It's so good!

Misty and I have been friends for... how long is it, Misty? 20 years? Wow - we're getting old. She's a dear friend to me. Misty knows me. She really knows me. She knows my most embarrassing moments (Water Street Oyster Bar) - she knows my secrets - she knows about what I mean when I leave her crazy messages in code - she knows about my major character flaws - she knows my crazy family (and has never run screaming)- she knows my likes and dislikes - she knows my heart and she knows where I come from and she still loves me. She knows and she loves and she is a tried and true friend. She was so much fun when we were in high school. She was there to commiserate with me when Chemistry sucked. We both hated it. She made stupid science projects so fun. She was a rock solid friend when I was 16 years old and had my heart shattered for the first time. She would talk to me and help me "look busy" when Alan would walk by in the hall - so that he wouldn't see my cry. She saved me a place at all the pep rallies if she got there before Me and Leigh or Misty V. She lent me my favorite outfit - indefinitely. She totally helped me look awesome for Favorites by changing into the red dress after we left her house because her mom would have never let me wear it out. She listened to me for hours and hours and hours while I talked about him and those eyes and the sound of his truck and she never, ever complained. She would hang out and be late to class with me just so I could be in the back of school at the right time. She never got me in trouble with my parents - and that's really saying something. She let me use her "senior spot" when I finally got my own car so I could park in a "cool" place. She was an awesome lunch buddy. She She was an awesome girlfriend for so many reasons... too many to list here and so many that just don't need to be preserved on my blog. This little trip down memory lane is all just to say, I value her friendship over the years.

Our lives no longer are full of the angst of the teen years: the deep longing of unrequited love, the torture of weeks upon weeks of Greg being away at college, the the challenges of trying to look amazing every day (because now we just accept that we can't), the balancing act of spreading our wings and growing up while living under our parents roof and rules, finding ourselves and money for Elva's...

Most of that has changed but we still do talk about him and with her that's okay.

We laugh about how we grew up knowing "The Joneses" and how they're all still trying to keep up with each other and for the most part it seems like they've all arrived but they're too busy keeping up to notice. It's nice to just see that and be able to laugh together about how life has us pretty much out of the "league" and that's okay.

Misty and I haven't seen each other in many years (though we do hope this year will be our lucky year) and we don't talk nearly as much as we should but she is still that same girl. She is a solid, tried and true friend and I can't imagine not having her in my life.

Hoping you have a Happy Birthday, Misty! I miss you and hope you have a super night out with the love of your life!

and just because it is my blog and i can and because he is in this picture... and, of course so is she :) I'm not quite sure why I'm not though?